Telling Friends

Not Obvious
Pretty Much Tell Them Everything
Friends’ Reactions
Pretty Open
Shocked and Amazed
Curious About It
Annoying Questions

heart        kidney        liver        lung

Not Obvious

My friends don’t really ask about my heart. I usually tell them, because when they come and visit me in the hospital, they kind of figure it out. But usually it’s not obvious- you don’t look at me and say, “Oh, she has a heart problem,” because the heart’s inside your body, so you don’t really notice. So only my friends know; most other people don’t know. They know that I’m gone when I’m in the hospital, but they just think I’m sick or something; they don’t think that there are these major problems.

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Pretty Much Tell Them Everything

My friends are all very interested in what I’ve been through. So I pretty much tell them everything- answer any questions that they have. My friend Sue had a broken leg and she was asking me how long it would take to get better because I had a hip operation. I didn’t really know what to tell her, because my recovery was really hard- it hurt! So, I try to give my friends advice about their medical problems, and when they have questions about mine I pretty much tell them everything.

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Friends’ Reactions

I’m a very open person. I basically told my friends everything, and they all understood what was going on. A couple of them would call and check on me to see if I needed any help with homework. There was no real problem with people knowing about everything. I think that it is easier for people to know what is going on, then for people to have it hidden from them.

In the beginning, most people babied me, but after they got to know me, they treated me as an average person. They said how strong of a person I was. A lot of people seemed interested in what was going on; it’s not every day that they have a friend on dialysis. They were very into that: how it was done and everything else I was going through. I educated them about that.

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Pretty Open

I’m pretty open about my illness. It’s part of who I am, and I can’t really hide it. It doesn’t bother me too much. I like sharing my experience, because then people know a little more about something different. A lot of my peers have become organ donors because of my situation. It’s good that I’ve been able to share a little bit.

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Shocked and Amazed

I do tell people about my heart transplant. The majority of the time, people will be shocked and amazed, because I look so healthy. They can’t believe that I’ve had a heart transplant, because I don’t look like I would have needed one. But that’s what’s so amazing about it: heart transplantation does wonders. I’m so healthy now that I can’t believe that I was so sick. It’s amazing just what a new heart can do. People are always asking questions like, “What did it feel like?” and, “Was it difficult?” and things like that.

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Curious About It

I tell my friends I had a kidney transplant and they’re usually like, “Oh, how did that happen?” They’re really curious about it. So I tell them how I got sick and everything, and I tell them how my parents donated their kidneys to me. The first donation was from my mom; the second one was from my dad. They [my friends] think it’s great, and say, “Oh, that’s so nice. You have a great family.” All of my family knows about it, so, I don’t really have to explain anything to them.

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Annoying Questions

My relatives, like my cousins, know about the transplant from my parents and from when I was a little baby. Whenever I meet a new friend, I try to keep it to myself, because they will find out. When I’m at a pool party and I have to take off my shirt, they’re like, “What happened?” and ask all these annoying questions. I tell them the truth: that when I was young, I was diagnosed with this, so I have to live with it. But I tell them it’s all right with me; I play baseball. I was pretty much harassed because of my problem. There are a lot of things I’ve dealt with over the years. One time there were three kids who were just on my case all the time, so every time they’d get in my face, I basically turned it right back to them. After that, they pretty much stopped.

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