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Family
I have disagreements with my family about food all the time. My mom tries to stop me [from eating certain foods], and I know she’s trying to help, but I still get mad at her. It’s like an addiction— I get addicted to a food, and then I’ll eat it even when I’m not hungry. She’ll tell me that I’m overeating, and I’ll get really mad. But I know that she’s only trying to help.
My family has never seriously teased me. I have brothers, and they poke fun at me because they’re my brothers and that’s what they do. I never really took that to heart. But I’ve had my parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles tell me, “You know, you really need to lose weight, because if you keep on this road, you’re going to be unhealthy.” And that hurts, because they’re supposed to be people who love me no matter what, but they’re telling me there’s something wrong with me. I know that’s not really what they’re saying, but that’s how I interpret it. I took it the same way I took other people teasing me— thinking that there was something wrong with me— and it just really hurt.
The clothing styles that are in right now don’t fit my body type at all. But I try, if I really like a style, so I’ll go and try on a halter-top, but it just doesn’t fit. It’s really upsetting— I hate shopping for clothes. I don’t go; my mom goes shopping for me. She’ll buy me clothes and I’ll try them on at home. I’d much rather try them on at home than be in the store fitting room, because I’ll pull on things that I know I can’t fit into, and then I’ll get myself upset about it and then I’m just no fun to shop with anymore. So I have a problem with that. So my mom goes out and buys clothes that will fit me, I try them on, and the ones I don’t like she’ll exchange for something better. That’s my way around that.
On special occasions, I’ll just eat what I want to that day. My mom will say, “You can eat that, but tomorrow we’re going to watch what you eat.”
More than anything, my advice is that you don’t need to change your whole life. Every little change you make makes a huge difference. Eat your vegetables before your starch, and you may end up eating less starch. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, park on the far side of the parking lot… those little things really add up after a while. Also, nothing happens immediately. If I had given up while I was still gaining weight, I never would have gotten to the point where I was losing weight. There are so many factors that just persevering will make a difference. In terms of the way other people feel being teased or anything like that, it’s hard to just let things roll off you, but concentrate on the positive things. The families and friends of people who are overweight really understand that it’s a tough thing to struggle with. It’s just like getting over a broken ankle— you can’t just immediately walk again, and it’s a tough thing to do. The support of friends and family is important.
More than anything, my friends and family have been there. They’ve made it clear that they don’t look at me any differently for being overweight. They understand the typical stuff: the times when I was getting out of breath, they would wait for me, and they’d be like, “Come on. Come on.” And there’s always someone there to exercise with me or play tennis with me. More than anything, during the periods when it’s easy to get down, having somebody there to smile and talk with is important.
I live with my grandmother, and when I go outside after we have dinner to get some frozen yogurt or something she’ll say, “You really shouldn’t eat that; go put it away.” But that will just make me want to eat it more and more, because I’m kind of rebellious, and I don’t want to do what she says. The more she tells me not to, the more I want to. We get into fights a lot where I’ll go to eat something and she’ll say, “That’s so bad for you. Don’t eat it; put it down.” It’s really frustrating, because you don’t want someone to tell you what to eat. You want someone to be there to support you in the decisions that you make.
At first it was really good to get weighed at the doctor’s, because I was losing weight. Now the program has just become the norm— the way I eat. I’m really busy with school too, so I don’t have much time to exercise. I’m at a constant where I’m not losing but I’m not gaining either. So it’s nerve-wracking when I go to clinic. And if I happen to gain a pound, it’s really bad, especially for my grandmother, because she flips out, saying we’re not going to go there anymore; we’re not going to waste my time. It’s just upsetting.
The hardest thing about being on my diet is when I see my brother eating stuff that I can’t have. Then I just feel depressed and sad. But I know he’s not going to be healthy when he grows up, and I am. That’s all I have to remember to make me feel better.
[I have disagreements with my family about food] all the time, like, “You shouldn’t eat that; don’t eat that!” It’s embarrassing, especially because my brother is in high school too, and he is really skinny. It’s just weird, because he is only two years younger than I am. I feel uncomfortable when his friends are over and my mom says something, because some of his friends’ older brothers are my friends.
I try to not let [my weight] bother me, and I’ll act like it doesn’t bother me around my parents, but it bothers me so much. I try to act as though my weight doesn’t bother me around others too, but it’s hard to keep up that front.
I do sneak food, because I don’t like it when people see me eat; I feel self-conscious. If it’s a mealtime and everyone’s sitting down to eat, then I’ll eat with people. But if it’s not a mealtime, I’ll hide whatever I’m eating if anyone comes into the room. I just don’t like it when people see me eat, because then I feel even fatter than I am, just because I’m eating, and whatever I’m eating is probably not the healthiest thing anyway. I don’t want people to see me eat unhealthy food, because my family wants me to lose weight; it’s the best thing for me. If they walk downstairs and find me eating a chocolate chip cookie or a bowl of ice cream or something, it’s not working, and I just feel like I’m disappointing them. I know I’m not, but that’s the feeling I get whenever I do something like that. So that’s why I sneak food. |
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Hospital Boston Department of Psychiatry. All Rights Reserved. The information on this website should not be taken as medical advice, which can only be given to you by your personal health care professional. July 10, 2005 |
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