Coping

Psycho-ologists
Stress and Getting Stressed Out
Red Sox T-Shirt
Being Comfortable
What I Can Do
Focus
Stress and Control
Listen to Your Body
Crohn’s Community

Crohn’s Disease          Ulcerative Colitis

Psycho-ologists

I got a lot of support from my family, but what I really liked was having a psychiatrist to talk to. I always used to call them ‘psycho-ologists’ because I always thought that only mental people went there. But it really helped, actually, to have someone other than my family to talk to. I learned ways to cope and things like that, and I think it really helped. Just try to think of your psychiatrist as a new best friend that you just can talk to openly. And talking to your psychiatrist may help lessen your stress; you might not feel so much like the world might be against you. I had a few of those feelings, but that’s pretty much all from one word: stress.

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Stress and Getting Stressed Out

The most stressful part of my Crohn’s was finding out that I had it. At first, I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it probably had to do with my stomach since my stomach really hurt. When your stomach really, really hurts, you just want it to go away. All of the stomach pain was on top of my chronic headaches; at that time my headache was taking priority over everything. But in the background, when the headache started to decrease, I felt this huge flaming, stabbing pain- it’s like a mixture of everything- in my stomach. Finding out that all of this pain was a certain, known disease, and that it would be there for the rest of my life, was a little stressful, even though I know it’s only there during flare-ups and it might only hurt once in a while. But the thing is, there are pills that can help you with it, and you need to have courage, stand up, and try not to get stressed out. You’ll have the stress, but just don’t get stressed out.

And when you have pain, do not get stressed. It will go away. That’s pretty much the big thing about this. Because if you get stressed, it will add on to the pain in your stomach. Believe me, I went through that a lot of times. I don’t like admitting it, but it’s pretty much the truth. If you get stressed, it will just make everything worse. Just try to make sure that you’re not stressed out and get your mind off it, either by watching television, which your parents might not like, or by reading a book, which parents usually like. I find television helps. If you’re a parent, try to calm your kid down, and if you’re a kid, don’t get stressed. Maybe even think of your IBD as a good thing. I could probably be a doctor now with all the things I know!

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Red Sox T-Shirt

When I was about to go in for my surgery, my family was so supportive of me the whole time. I couldn’t really sleep a lot so my mom would stay-up with me and read me my favorite stories from when I was little. I’m a really big Red Sox fan and my dad went to a game once and brought me back a t-shirt. I still have the t-shirt and I still wear it all the time. My brother would just come and talk to me normally even though I was in all that pain. They would have little celebrations for me; like one time they had an early birthday party for me. They went out and bought all this stuff that would make me feel better at that point, like more comfortable clothing that I could wear and things like that. So having my family to support me was pretty much what got me through it.

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Being Comfortable

I don’t feel comfortable when I’m not near a bathroom that is clean and I know I can use. So I don’t like being in the middle of nowhere at all, or going hiking or anything anymore.

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What I Can Do

I can do anything – that is so corny, like from a Hallmark card or something – but I can do anything, which is really cool. It is just the intensity that varies. I was on the tennis team in high school and in college. I’ve ridden horses since I was four. I just couldn’t do everything I wanted to do exactly as I wanted to do it. For tennis, I got really sick my first year in college, and ended up missing two months of the first semester, which is basically the whole thing. But the team was great, and they just let me show up when I could. It wasn’t a big deal when I missed it, because they knew I wanted to be there and it’s not like I was skipping. I’ve gone on trips- I’ve gone overseas to Europe. I just got my own place, I bike ride and rollerblade. I can do anything that anybody else can do; it’s just that on some days maybe not to the extent that they can do them. If there is a bad day, you just wait it out, but there are enough good days that it’s worth it.

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Focus

Crohn’s disease is obviously a very large part of me, but focusing on it isn’t going to change a whole lot. I focus on doing things and hanging out with friends and having a good time. I love life, and it works right now, and it’s really fun. Everything is good.

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Stress and Control

I’m a pretty high-strung person; I get stressed out really easily and that doesn’t help my Crohn's. So I made a decision to go to college in Ohio at a really small school where it is not competitive and more laid-back than my high school used to be. That’s helped me a lot. In college I have been able to do pretty much everything I wanted to do. I would say Crohn’s didn’t interfere with stuff- I was pretty much able usually to do my normal activities. But it has taken away some of my control- for example, I can’t always choose what I want to eat.

And sometimes you just have bad days. During high school I would always flare up during the spring and lose the control of being able to do as well in school as I’d want or lose my ability to do everything I was able to do before as well as I was able to before. Sometimes you have to take a step back and adjust stuff to make it work, but you can usually make it work if you think hard enough about it.

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Listen to Your Body

I see Crohn's as a way of monitoring myself. It’s just become part of my identity and how I make decisions now. I used to say, “Wow, I’m tired. Stupid Crohn's is in my way. I can’t go out and do this.” But now I’ve learned that’s just my body’s way of saying, “We need time.” It’s become really important for me to have that time. I have to learn to listen to my body because otherwise I would push myself too hard. Now I know when not to push myself and it’s gotten a lot better, because I’ve learned to just relax and take it easy.

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Crohn’s Community

I think it is absolutely key to reach out to other people who have similar conditions. I have friends who I tell everything, but even my closest friends don’t fully understand my Crohn’s. Occasionally, one of them will see an article and think of me and send it to me, but they can never keep track. There are people I’ve been friends with for six years and will still say, “Here, have a piece of bread.” It’s been four years since I last touched bread.

But I’ve met a lot of really wonderful people through the Crohn’s community, both on the web and in person. It’s really good to have people to talk to, because you can really vent to them and they understand. It helps your stress. So try to have other people who understand what you’re going through and with whom who you don’t have to break everything down. You can throw around terms like “upper GI,” “colonoscopy,” “IBD” and the names of medicines and they know what you’re talking about. It’s one of the things that you can get from Crohn’s. Crohn’s takes a lot away from you, but you can also get a lot from it.

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