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A Family Affair
Hearing loss is a family affair. It can be easy to forget the impact that having a brother or sister with a hearing loss can have on a sibling. I have had the fun of running sibling groups, where kids express how they feel about having a sibling who is deaf or hard of hearing. Inevitably, stresses from one child receiving so much attention, needing to change family plans (like avoiding situations where hearing is difficult), and extra energy to communicate are mentioned. At the same time, siblings talk about positive aspects of having their deaf or hard of hearing brother or sister. They mention people they get to meet, learning about sign language or cochlear implants, talking behind their backs, and just playing with them. Usually the siblings want to acknowledge that it is fine to be happy with their brother or sister, and fine to be mad at them, and most of the joys and stresses do not have to do with the hearing loss. Siblings want to be included, want to have choices, and want to have a role to play in the issues related to the hearing loss, because that is how families work together. These types of sibling issues are just the same as in any other family.
Betsy Kammerer, Ph.D., Psychologist  Top of Page
Many Ways to be Deaf
Often, parents report feeling pulled in many directions about the best way to raise their child. Sometimes they are told to use a specific communication method or a specific approach to education. However, Deaf and hard of hearing children are a heterogeneous group – they vary in their degree of hearing loss, their tendency toward being visual or auditory learners, their medical condition, their innate cognitive abilities, and any number of other factors. Although there are still some professionals who believe “this way is the only way,” most professionals who work with deaf children understand that there is no “right way” to be deaf that fits for every child. Families may begin with one approach and realize it doesn’t work well for their particular child. It is important to be flexible. Facilitating communication (in whatever form that takes), forming strong attachments, and letting the child know that he or she is cared about are vital components of forming a strong family and helping the child to succeed in life.
Amy Szarkowski, Ph.D., Psychology Post-Doctoral Fellow
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Avoid being Overprotective of Your Deaf child…
Issues that parents discuss with me (as a psychologist) revolve around expectations for independence. Parents need to not be too lenient or overly forgiving with their child who is deaf or hard of hearing and need not to have different restrictions than they would otherwise impose on hearing siblings either. There is no reason not to expect children who are deaf or hard of hearing to achieve independence that is appropriate for their age. Parents can put mirrors on bicycles, equip teens with email devices and pagers, provide children with a visual or a shaking alarm clock, or any one of a number of devices that facilitate kids participating at age-appropriate ways and in age-inappropriate activities. Of course parents worry about safety, and they should worry about safety, but families can also creatively problem solve and allow kids to develop skills in line with expectations for their siblings and age-peers.
Terrell Clark, Ph.D., Pediatric Psychologist
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