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Helping Your Child Cope with Diabetes |
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I think a lot of it is just talking to him. I mean, ultimately he’s going either way, but instead of grabbing him by the arm and dragging him, I sit him down and talk to him and explain that it is a lot better now and the more time that goes by, it would require more times ultimately in the hospital or more tests being done. I tell him not so much specifics; you know the long term outcomes, but just tell him that it is to his benefit now and he’ll have less to worry about at the end. I’ve never found resistance after sitting down and talking to him. -Father We’re actually glad that he was diagnosed when he was two years old because at that point, there weren’t any bad habits to break. There wasn’t any explanation of why he couldn’t eat certain foods anymore. It was this is just the way it is, and you’re going to sit down and finish your meal because I’ve given you X amount of insulin, so you need to eat X amount of carbs. -Mother We don't do anything different We use the same parenting skills that we would have used whenever a kid doesn’t want to take their medicine or do something that they don’t want to do. I wouldn’t say it’s anything different. -Father Making hospital trips a positive experience We try to offer her a fun reward after coming into the hospital. Like, she intensely doesn’t like to have her blood drawn, so we always try to plan a shopping trip afterwards. We go to the mall or a museum or something fun because it’s a long ride here. So we try to make it a positive experience for her with positive rewards. -Mother During the summer, she was in a community theater production of the Wizard of Oz and it was an intense time. A lot of rehearsals, practices, and costume things. A lot of time on our part to sit there with her from 6 to 11 o’ clock at night for all the rehearsals and performances, but we really made that commitment. She’s blossomed so much because of that. The people all there knew she had diabetes and occasionally she would need to have a snack, but they just went on and she had the best time. They were very accepting. -Mother I think kids with diabetes, though, it kind of catches up to them and they feel overwhelmed sometimes. I think that’s another thing that you kind of have to watch out for as a parent. Sometimes they just need a hug or some encouragement. You just have to be alert for those times when kids are just feeling depressed or just really sick of it all. I’m not talking about a glucose crash. I’m talking about the emotions of it. You kind of keep an eye out for that. -Father I wish I never had this disease Allie has always been good about saying, “I wish I never had this disease.” You know, “Why did you even bring me home from the hospital? You should have just left me there.” So, she gets kind of teary eyed and these things tumble out. You just have to again put the parent hat on and just rationalize it through with her. And sometimes you can’t talk her though it. You just have to let it subside. She’s had some spells like that. -Mother She just has to take over for her pancreas Our daughter was old enough at diagnosis to have been a part of the entire process. When I find a great book about diabetes, I share it with her and we discuss it together. Her attitude has been wonderful from day one. She seems to understand that this is just how life is now, and that it doesn’t change who she is as a person or restrict her future in any way. She just has to take over for her pancreas. -MotherHe's still too young to understand He complains sometimes about his diabetes and I try to explain that some people have diabetes. He’s still too young to understand the whole like medical side, like exactly what it is. With the eating stuff that he’s not supposed to do, I try to explain the consequences, what can happen if he doesn’t, you know, eat the right foods. Like, that he could get sick and bad things could happen, but it’s still all above his head for now. -Mother I just try to make it not a big thing. Her diet shouldn’t be any different from anybody else’s because it’s just not eating junk all the time. It’s not good not only for her, but it’s not good for me or the other kids to be eating stuff like that all the time anyways. So it shouldn’t be a big difference. -Mother We don't make it a big part of our conversation Often times, what you’ll find as a parent of a kid with diabetes is that you go the store and someone will say, “Oh I haven’t seen you in so long, but I heard Billy has diabetes. My aunt had diabetes, but she died of it. I know, Billy, that won’t happen to you, but she lost both her legs then she was blind.” And you hear these people in front of you kid and I would always say to him, “First of all, that’s type II and second of all, that might have been someone who didn’t have great medical care or know how to take care of themselves.” So that’s kind of how that conversation went, but in terms of his diabetes we’re all a very open family so people around us know Billy has it. But we don’t make it a big part of our conversation. -Mother We have hand signals for soccer. If we need to remind him to test, we’ll tap a forearm because that’s where he tests on his arm. Or if he has to remember to bolus, we make a sign of a V. And we have different things like that so that instead of having to go over to him and make a big deal of it in front of people we just use a quick signal. -Mother I just had a conversation with him because his last appointment, he was complaining in the car about having to go. He still doesn’t like it. And I said to him, “Billy, I understand.” You know, I had listened for a while. I’m like, “Billy, I get it. I hear you. You don’t want to spend your time doing this.” And I’m sympathetic. “I don’t really want to be in the car driving all the way to Waltham either, but it’s ok. Can we take a moment and realize how many children do not have health insurance and how lucky you are to be getting your doctor for your care?” We’re so blessed, you know what I mean? And so I think that helped him. Just in that moment he paused. -Mother Billy keeps his own counsel. He’s never talked to me about diabetes or about friends or about anything really. We talk sports, we talk school. He’s a kid that I’m not really intimate with, but he’s become closer to my husband. Charlie takes him out to breakfast every Friday, and they play chess. I’m not sure he talks about his diabetes with Charlie. I don’t know who he talks about his—I would be surprised if he talks about it with anyone. He’s very matter of fact and if he has any deep-seeded worries, he doesn’t seem to express them. -Grandmother As an adult, you certainly don’t want your kid to have to take shots, especially when they seem a little bit painful. We were lucky that Billy never reacted particularly negatively to shots, but depending on the time of day and his mood, shots may hurt more or less. If you’re kind of cranky late at night and all of a sudden, Dad is giving you a shot that’s not going to feel so good. What I found was that I became more critical about it. You know, this is what Billy’s life is about. This is what he needs to do to take care of himself. This is his challenge in life. I have felt that I could deal with it best once I got over feeling sorry for him or for feeling sorry for myself about what our life has become and what has to happen now with my child. This is just what we do. So it got to the point that not that shots are routine like brushing your teeth, but you don’t feel sorry for yourself that you have to brush your teeth and take care of yourself. And by having that attitude about approaching shots or approaching all the needs of your child, it just becomes what you do in life. I find that your child may have certain emotions about it, but the steadier that you are as the parent, that “Hey, this is just the way things are and everyone has their own challenges”, the easier it is for your child to deal with that. -Father
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Hospital Boston Department of Psychiatry. All Rights Reserved. The information on this website should not be taken as medical advice, which can only be given to you by your personal health care professional. Updated: June 8, 2009 |
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