Kate had at times wrestled with mild symptoms of depression, but she never became fully depressed. She had the capacity to think about herself and the actions she could take, and to act on those understandings. As she came of age she could leave her mother’s house and not feel responsible for all the life issues that only her mother could resolve. She was able to separate herself from her mother, which meant that she could get on with her own life. Her success exemplifies three important traits of resilience: relatedness, a sense that her actions made a difference, and above all, self-understanding.

Kate also commented on what would help others growing up in a household with depression. "First, somebody should explain why people get depressed," she said. You really don’t know what it is and if it can happen to you. You don’t know why your parent feels that way. You don’t know if you’re going to feel that way yourself or how to manage it if you do feel depressed. If someone has a disease, you want to know how they got it and how you can prevent it from happening to you. Otherwise, you have fear. You can’t ever trust something that doesn’t have an explanation." (73-74)

This passage was taken from When a Parent is Depressed, a book written for families facing depression. When a Parent is Depressed is published by Little, Brown, and Company and can be purchased at your local bookstore, through the publisher’s website (www.twbookmark.com), or at any major online book retailer.