Beth Donegan, a senior Child Life Therapist with the Cardiology patients at Children's Hospital Boston, offered the following thoughts:

Telling your child about cardiac surgery or catheterization can cause much anticipatory stress and anxiety for you, the parent. How to approach these topics with your child, the timing of when to tell your child and what words to use are only a few questions that can cause concern.

When a parent contacts me and asks for advice in this area, I first try to learn as much as I can about the child. Their age, past experiences within the healthcare setting, the child's temperament and existing coping techniques are all pieces of information I want to hear about in order to create a clear picture of the child. Every child is a unique individual and therefore my responses ideally are individually based.

Nevertheless, here are some general tips I can share...

• When first telling your child about the surgery or catheterization start by using a frame of reference (i.e., "Do you remember when we took you to the Dr.'s office and he took pictures of your heart? Well, the Dr. saw that your heart is not working exactly the way it should. Your heart needs to be fixed so that it will work just the right way. You need to have an operation.")

• Tell your child at the beginning of your explanation who will be staying with him or her. It is helpful for your child to know that they will not be going through this experience alone.

• Keep explanations simple and wait for your child to ask his/her questions. This way you will learn what is important to him or her.

• Always be sure that your child is told at a time when you will be able to be available to him. Never tell your child about surgery before bedtime. A child needs to process this new information and ask questions at his own pace.

• If your child asks a question that you cannot answer or don't feel comfortable answering, you can respond by saying, " That's a great question. Let's write it down so we don't forget it. We can ask a person that works at the hospital." You can call us with the question or ask during your next appointment.

• After you and your child finish packing his suitcase, take him directly into your room and have him help you pack your suitcase. This is a concrete way to show your child you are going to the hospital, too.

There are a variety of additional ways a parent can help their child prepare for their hospitalization. A Child Life Therapist is a resource that can help you before, during and after your hospital journey. We are only a phone call away.

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