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Not Wanting to be Different
She doesn't want to take her meds, because her friends don't do it Just in the last year Katie has become very resistant to taking her meds. She doesn't want to do Intal, because her friends who have asthma don't do Intal. Now her friends who have asthma and don't do Intal end up in the emergency room, and they use Albuterol a lot more often than Katie does, and they end up on steroids a lot more often than she does, but I think Katie would take that over doing Intal every day. We'd been arguing about it, so I told her to talk to our allergist since she's the expert. So during our last visit with her, Katie talked with her, and said she really wanted to stop doing her Intal, it made her feel different, and that she really didn't want to do it. She was crying. Our doctor said, “You know, Katie, I wish that I could, but I can't say that I think it's in your best interest to stop doing your Intal. I can tell that this is really upsetting for you, but I just can't say that to you.” I think the doctor was near tears, and Katie was so upset, and my husband and I were sitting there. But about a week after that, Katie said, “I want to call my doctor and apologize, I think I was really overreacting about the Intal, it's not that big a deal.” I said “You don't need to apologize, you know, you were just telling her how you felt, and it's okay to have those feelings.” But now for whatever reason she's now doing her Intal without complaining. Lucy sits there sometimes, I think especially since she has eczema as well, and says at seven years old, “Why is it me? Why is it me?” Sometimes she says she hates herself. I try to tell her, “Your asthma and your eczema aren't YOU, they're just some things you were born with; you don't need to hate yourself about it.”Feeling like he's different from everybody else I think feeling like he's different than everybody else is the hardest thing for Evan. His food allergies are harder for him to deal with than his asthma, but that may be because his asthma has become very mild, and more accommodations have to be made for him because of his food allergies. He doesn't really want people to know he has food allergies and asthma. He'll talk about it with me, but he's embarrassed about it if it comes up in discussions with a friend or a teacher and he won't say much about it.Helping him to realize that he doesn't have to be embarrassed Since Evan's asthma is more under control now, one of the greatest challenges for me is to help him feel that having asthma/food allergies is only one part of who he is, that it's not the biggest part, and that he doesn't have to be embarrassed about his illness. I tell my son that he is not any more “different” than anyone else, that everybody has issues they are dealing with, and that his issues are just different than his friends' issues. Right now I think he has difficulty seeing it that way. Some people's challenges are just more on the surface and thus more noticeable. I hope Evan having asthma and food allergies will make him a more tolerant and understanding person when dealing with people throughout his life. I don't think Jordan is bothered by his asthma in the way of it hindering what he does, but he may be bothered by it because wherever he goes, he has to carry his Albuterol and spacer with him. Between that and taking medicine daily – he might say this bothers him more. |
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Hospital Boston Department of Psychiatry. All Rights Reserved. The information on this website should not be taken as medical advice, which can only be given to you by your personal health care professional. Updated: June 5, 2007 |
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